Clans Of The Strange
by Roux Andrews
Summary: Scenes from the parody roleplay site Clans Of The Strange. It may not make any sense.... that's the point! Please enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**--FastFoodClan--**

Leader

Lennonstar _white and grey tom with little round John glasses_

Deputy

None

Medicine Cat

Freaktail _white Japanese Bobtail tom with black patches and sapphire eyes_

Apprentice; Colapaw

Warriors

Pandaheart _white she-cat with black panda markings, green eyes_

Apprentice; Fermipaw

McDonaldschest _no description_

Apprentices

Fermipaw _pure black she-cat with really bright green eyes_

Colapaw _black tom with blue streaks, green eyes_

Queens and Kits

None

Elders

None

**--ComputerClan--**

Leader

Pixelstar _two-dimensional greyish-white tom made of pixels_

Deputy

Rubbersoul _black tom with blue eyes_

Medicine Cat

Professorherbs grey she-cat with little round glasses

Warriors

Monitor _blue lynx point Javanese she-cat with hypnotizing blue eyes _

Elders

Chicagotail _calico she-cat with a white belly and blue-gray eyes_

**--NuclearClan--**

Leader

Spiritstar _white tom with distinctive black facial markings _

Deputy

Starlight _blue she-cat with small white spots and neon green eyes_

Apprentice; Poetrypaw

Medicine Cat

Taintedleaf _black she-cat, green eyes_

Warriors

Oztail _black tom with yellow 3D stars and yellow eyes _

Strawberryblue _Longhaired red and blue she-cat with lemon yellow eyes_

Musichead _ginger and white tom with headphones_

Charcoalfur _dark gray tom with navy and white flecks_

Apprentices

Poetrypaw _musty brown tom with dark brown eyes_

Spampaw _pale gray tabby tom with green eyes_

**--CookieClan--**

Leader

Margaritafur

Deputy

Gingersnapfur _Brown tom with very short legs, an eternally bored expression and yellow eyes_

Medicine Cat

None

Warriors

Neroheart _blue-eyed, yellow tom with a laurel crown_

**--Kittypets--**

Major _black tom with green eyes_

Minor _white tom with blue eyes_

**--Loners--**

Loretta _tortoiseshell she-cat with green eyes_

**--Cats in the Land of Black Holes--**

Vampirefang _no description_


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2- A Walk 'Round The Tower_

Oztail circled around the Cooling Tower, looking at the very tippity-top of it. His brother, Poetrypaw, was trailing behind him.

"What do you call / this place?" asked Poetrypaw.

"The _Emerald City_," Oztail mewed in awe.

"That is a / nice name for this / tower," Poetrypaw meowed.

"Have you seen Glinda?" asked Oztail quite suddenly.

Poetrypaw yawned, trying not to yell at his brother for saying _Glinda_ instead of _Starlight._ "I have not / seen...Glinda," he yawned.

Starlight slunk after them, giving a momentous yawn. She would much rather be sleeping right now than hunting, but they had a Clan to feed. _Hmph. I wish they'd stop eating like such pigs for once! I hate having to hunt three times a day._ She pounced on a mouse which was lying out in the sun and killed it before kicking gravel over it. The deputy then flicked her ears up when Poetrypaw began to speak. Starlight smirked and dropped her weight into the hunter's crouch, planning to sneak up on the brothers.

Poetrypaw shook his head and turned around. He saw Starlight, ready to pounce on them. "Art thou hunting?" he asked excitedly. "I'd like to be jumping / with you." Oztail turned around and gasped at the sight of Starlight. "Oh Glinda, you honor us with your presence," he meowed, bowing gratefully. "We will always respect you, good times and bad." Poetrypaw rolled his eyes and turned to Starlight. "Please excuse m-e," he meowed. "My brother is a little nutt-y."Starlight began to laugh and quickly pressed her muzzle into her shoulder to stifle it. "Yes-eth I am. Ugh, you can stick to the poetry. It's hard. Oztail, I respect you too...now please try and catch some mice so we don't _starve._" She turned to her apprentice. "Poetrypaw, show me the hunting crouch you'd use for hunting a mouse."Poetrypaw got into his best hunting crouch and paused. "Oh wait," he meowed. "I have forgotten to _say_ my ode to _prey_. I shall now recite my Ode to Prey / you see, while I'm hunting, they / skitter and scatter and / titter and tatter and / then I shall POUNCE / Oh yay! / on one weighing less than an ounce." "Brilliant," Starlight meowed. "Now it is time to go hunt the mices. Mices?" She frowned. "Uh, go hunt the mice. With no _s_." She scented the air for any prey. "I don't smell any mouses--fox-dung, I did it again!" The deputy glanced at the Cooling Tower and thought about banging her head on it until she remembered that the tower could reduce her to charcoal in seconds. Poetrypaw laughed. "Well, well / I do not smell / any mouses, or mices or meeses." Suddenly, Oztail jumped in front of him and meowed, "We will do anything for you, Miss Glinda. If you want us to hunt, we shall hunt. If you want us to sleep, we shall sleep. Whatever you wish, Miss Glinda." With that, he bowed and wrapped his tail around Poetrypaw's tail.

"Well, I'd like to sleep, but our Clan kind of needs to eat to stay alive," meowed Starlight. She yawned and looked skyward, navy blue pelt glinting in the sunlight. "We probably don't need _too_ many mice because there's only four of us in the Clan."Oztail winked, cocking his head cheerily. "We should have a big fresh-kill pile, in case the Munchkinlanders come to visit," he meowed, turning his head toward CookieClan territory. "He means \ Gingersnapfur, who \ acts like a \ Munchkinlander," Poetrypaw whispered to Starlight. _When will Oztail ever shut up about this Munchkinland business?_ Poetrypaw thought in annoyance."Ah, yes. Good ol' Gingersnapfur. He really likes those gingersnaps, you know." Starlight gave her right foreleg a quick lick. "Well, if you want a big fresh-kill pile, get hunting." She sniffed again, this time catching the faintest whiff of prey-scent on the air. She crept under the tower and returned with a mouse dangling from her jaws. "_That's_ how it's done."Poetrypaw opened his mouth to scent the air. _FastFoodClan!_ he thought. "Starlight, I smell FastFoodClan!" he exclaimed. Suddenly, Freaktail jumped right next to Poetrypaw. "Hey there," he meowed. "My name's Freaktail." Poetrypaw paused. "What are _you_ doing here? You've come too near," he told Freaktail. "My name is...Freaktail?" responded Freaktail after a pause. "Yeah / I got that," Poetrypaw meowed, his tail twitching in saw Freaktail talking to one of those weird NuclearClan cats.

"Ello Poppet! How are you doing today? Would you like a nice cold glass of orange-" He was cut off."Hello Lennonstar, Freaktail," Starlight meowed flatly. "Can you please get off of our territory? Go bother CookieClan." She sat down and gave her right foreleg a few licks before lifting her head to its former position to stare at the tresspassing toms. "Orange? Orange is a pretty color." She blinked. "My brother's ex-girlfriend's cousin's son's best friend had an orange pelt.

"-juice?" Lennonstar finished, dropping a carton of orange juice on the ground as a peace offering. Poetrypaw shook his head in disappointment. "I'm afraid your / leader has just / vanished into / thin air," he meowed to Freaktail. Meanwhile, Oztail was staring at Starlight in awe. "Say, Glinda," he meowed with his mouth still open, "Did you just make Lennonstar disappear?" Freaktail turned to Oztail in shock and then he bounded away, calling "MY NAME IS FREAKTAIL!! MY NAME IS FREAKTAIL!!!!! AND I'M A LITTLE FREAKED-OUT!!!" while doing so.

"Ooooh, I like orange juice. Thanks," Starlight meowed, pulling the carton in her direction with a navy paw. "Uhm, Freaktail kind of...left. In case you didn't notice. Which I'm sure you did." She frowned slightly and looked over in the direction of the departing medicine cat. Taintedleaf followed Starlight's direction and nodded slowly. "Should I follow him?" She mewed and flicked her tail, wanting to stalk him badly.

Starlight flicked her tail. "If you want to, go ahead, I guess. But all he'll do is run back home and yell 'My name is Freaktail!' at you. You know, his tail _is_ kind of freaky. It looks all floofy, like a cotton ball. Or a cloud. Floof floof floof."Taintedleaf nodded, "I suppose I shouldn't, condsidering if he'll yell..." she mewed as she sat down next to her leader, then started grooming herself. "And whats this thing with orange juice?""Lennonstar likes orange juice. Simple as that, I guess." Starlight sat down and tucked her tail around her forepaws, still watching the FastFoodClan leader intently. "Of course, orange juice is pretty good...I like it too." She must have been pretty tired at the moment because she was failing to notice the fact that she was constantly repeating , I like it too...I was just wondering." Taintedleaf said with a small laugh and looked around to spot the FastFood Clan leader. "Starlight, what is he doing here?" she mewed as she blinked really fast."Wait, did you say - my name is Freaktail - something about me?" Poetrypaw and Oztail turned around to see Freaktail bound out of the bushes yet again. "Why do you / keep on popping / up out of / nowhere?" Poetrypaw asked in annoyance. "You are creeping / me out." Freaktail paused, not really understanding the point of the question. Oztail turned toward Taintedleaf and said, "I know, Dorothy. Things in this region of Oz are sometimes hard to understand. I can't really understand it either." Poetrypaw covered Oztail's mouth with his tail. "I don't / know him," he meowed embarrassedly. "He's just a / Slim Jim." Freaktail paused again. "_Slim Jim_? Where'd you get that - my name is Freaktail - from?" he asked. "It was / quite random," Poetrypaw replied. "It was all I / could think of."Taintedleaf just laughed and watched them fight over...well...nothing. She stood up and walked over near them, "You guys okay?" she said with a smirk."Well, we're doing pretty fine, Dorothy," Oztail replied, turning toward Taintedleaf. "Have you been to the Emerald City yet?" Poetrypaw rolled his eyes, turning toward the orange juice spilt on the ground. "You are tasty prey for / Poetrypaw!" he exclaimed, pouncing on the puddle of orange juice and trying hopelessly to bite it. Freaktail stared at the author nervously. "Are you _sure_ my name is Freaktail?" he asked. "Yes," the author replied. "Now, get on with it."

Freaktail jumped up in the air and said, "BANANA BONZANA!!" Then, he landed back on the ground, smiling proudly. Poetrypaw high-fived the freaked-out medicine cat, "Nice rhyme / it was just / in time!"Taintedleaf rolled her eyes. "No I haven't.." she mewed as she looked at Freaktail, laughing her face off. "What was that about?""I'm back..." Lennonstar butted in, panting. "'Ello guv'na, would you all like some walrus- I mean orange juice?"

Taintedleaf nodded, "ORANGE JUICE!?!?!?" she mewed as her ears perked up."It's over there..." he said, flicking his tail behind him, in the direction of the orange juice. Oztail turned his head. "O-o-orange juice? We don't have _that_ in Oz. At least, not the part I'm from." Poetrypaw's head jerked up, licking his lips. "I love orange juice / I want nobody to smoosh / the yummy yummy juice," he meowed in a sing-song tone. Oztail turned to Poetrypaw. "Orange juice can't be _smooshed_, or whatever you said," Oztail mewed. "Oztail, you are / very wrong," Poetrypaw replied. "If you have a gallon of / orange juice, it is / very easy to / smoosh." Oztail rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he meowed."Mmmm, smooshy orange juice," Starlight meowed, doing her best Homer Simpson impression. "How could Oz not have orange juice?! It's so...orange-y and juicy. Wait, Lennonstar, did you almost say 'walrus juice'? I didn't know that walruses produced juice.""I am the WALRUSSSS!!!!!!!" Lennonstar explained loudly."Congratulations," Starlight meowed. "I'm not a walrus." She yawned and gave her tail a lazy flick before glancing at her Clanmates to see if they were walruses too."No.... the walrus was Paul..."

The author grabbed Spampaw and set him down with the other NuclearClanners to make the story more funny/interesting.

"Um.. Lennonstar, Paul is not in this story. We're cats, remember?" Spampaw asked."Not all of us are cats," meowed Chicagotail, appearing out of nowhere to spice up the roleplay. "I'm at least fifty percent bionic-thing." The elder stretched out, displaying a level of flexibility that would have been hardly achievable by any normal cat, let alone one of her age.


End file.
